Here We Go

Well, it's finally here. After a long drive from the Bay, we've hit the ground in Memphis running and at 6:00 AM tomorrow, I'll check in to the hospital. I am so lucky to have such amazing friends and family and I can really feel everyone's support surrounding me as I sit anxiously watching the clock.
Today has been pretty busy. I met with my breast surgeon for a final chat and then stopped by my plastic surgeon's office to get the surgery lines drawn on...apparently she prefers to do them when you can still stand- so flat on your back gravity hasn't taken effect.
I'm scared and anxious for tomorrow, but I know this is the right choice. I can't wait to fill y'all in on everything that's happened and how it goes, but until then, know that I have a great nurse in B and will probably even get some sympathy from my cold British mother.

Because it's not all About Boobs

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of being an actress and spent way too many hours in front of my mirror, thanking everyone who helped me to my Oscar. I always was sure to thank Calvin Klein for making my beautiful dress- it was the 90's and I had a major girl crush on Gwyneth Paltrow - my dress, of course, would have to be Calvin.


Although I didn't grow up to be an actress, one of my favorite things to do is watch award shows and then scour the gossip sites for any juicy tidbits the cameras didn't catch. So, of course I watched the Golden Globes last night and gave the stink eye to anyone that wasn't Emma Stone.


Some of my faves:

Emma is always, always my fave. We have the same birthday and are obviously meant to be BFFs. 

Love her, love the color. 

Evan, I too suffer from blondeorexia. At least you are killing it in your dress.

Other than the stink eye of Emily Thorne, Madeleine Stowe is the BEST part of Revenge. 

There is a lot going on in the beading, but she looks fab. 

Love. 

Not crazy about the belt, but I love the color and sleeves. 

Ok, I do realize this is essentially a tie-died wedding dress, but that color is amazing on her. The top is also fab. 

Side note, there were tons of blush/nude colored dresses on the RC last night. I love a blush colored dress (future bridesmaids take note), but a lot of the dresses looked like granny's old nude bra. Something about the tone- perhaps they were better in person. I guess I should have gotten an invite so I could tell you for sure, but now we'll never know. Ha. 

Better luck next time:

I love Reese, but not like this. 

I don't know which is worse- the dress or her roots. 

I suppose if JT leaves her at the alter, she already has her Miss Havisham look picked out. Her hair and makeup are awesome.

To all my girls out there, please do not let me pick something like this for my wedding dress. I have also been digging tiers lately and now am very concerned that I too will look like whatever this is.

What is with the seam? 

Anyway, lets not end on a sad, gray note with a weird seam. 

I have struggled in vain to deny my love for  Mr. Darcy Colin, for some time. He is perfection. 

Decisions, Decisions

I was 25 when I got the results of my BRCA test, although I had thought about taking the test for a few years. When breast cancer runs on both sides of your family, it's hard not to think in terms of "when," rather than "if." This whole thing started with 5 minutes in the doctors's office. The test is fairly painless- a quick vial of blood taken in my OB/GYN's office was shipped off to a testing center for analysis. A week later, I was back in California and on the phone with my doctor, who sent follow up email with my mutation information. During the phone call, my doctor discussed a few options. Essentially, I could:


1. move forward with a mastectomy.


2. wait until after I had children to make a decision or not have a mastectomy at all. If I wanted to wait until after I had kids, I'd need to be done before I was 35. Either way, I'd have to be very aggressive about screenings- alternating a Breast MRI or Mammogram every 6 months. I'd also need to go in once a year to have a breast specialist read my MRIs.


The other options, including low grade chemo, weren't really for me. I was 25, had no children and wasn't really ready to start having children. Any of the options also recommend that your ovaries go - preferably before you're 40. Wonderful- something else to consider.


Before I move forward in my story, I should tell you that I wasn't alone in all of this. On the day of my test, I bullied my mother into also getting genetic testing. A few months prior, she had a biopsy on some clusters in her left breast and was freaked out enough to be curious. Although my tests were in, we still had to wait a week to find out her results and discover which side of the family I really took after (was I my Daddy's southern belle or my Mom's English rose? Ha). Apparently, I have more in common with Kate Middleton than Scarlet O'Hara - my Mom and I have matching mutations, passed on from her mother.


So, why did I decide to get a mastectomy? Breast cancer has already touched my life. My mother's mother died very young from premenopausal breast cancer; I watched my father's mother suffer from postmenopausal breast cancer. I knew other women who had fought- some had lost. I watched my Mom tense leading up to her mammograms and agonize until her test results came back clear. I made this choice a long time ago, before there was even such a thing as genetic testing. I knew that if I ever got breast cancer, my time with my boobs would come to an end and the results of my genetic test simply moved our goodbye forward.


That's it- a simplified version of why I decided to get a mastectomy. The choice was clear - my breasts have never defined me and now, they'll never get the chance to.

Operation Boob Evacuation

Lately, I've had tons of surgery related things to coordinate. My surgeons are in Memphis and with the surgery date getting closer, we've needed to start scheduling pre-op doctors appointments, as well as the blood/chest tests to get clearance for the surgery. Thankfully, I can get most of those tests done out here and just see my surgeons a week before operation boob evacuation (B's nickname, not mine). Hopefully, none of the tests will be like last summer's Breast MRI (more on that later).


On top of the doctors appointments, I have really had to start getting my shiz together. I have a color coded task list, packing lists for every member of our little family (why yes, we will be driving 2,079 miles with two cats) and perhaps most importantly, have plans to start teaching B how to do my hair.

Either he'll be able to poof my hair or will have to take on extra work to pay someone to come do it for me. Lord knows my Mom doesn't know a thing about anything that involves hairspray. Let's all say a little prayer to the hair gods that this goes well - and hope B doesn't singe my hair. Things could get real if he does. 

Life's Little Adventures

Hello!! For those of you that don't know me, my name is Katie. I've lived a little bit of everywhere, but consider home to be Memphis, TN. The the only hint of a southern accent I have is a slightly drawled y'all. I'm a Penn State grad and currently live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my wonderful fiancé, B, and our two cats. I work in recruiting for a very large company and am currently looking for my next adventure. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately), I am currently on a little adventure that is taking me to places I never thought I'd have to go. About a year and a half ago, I tested positive for a BRCA2 mutation and at the end of next month, I will wake up more than a little flat chested. While I won't go into all the details in my first post, I have an extremely high risk of developing an aggressive form of premenopausal breast cancer and after weighing all of the options, have decided to move forward with a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction - sooner, rather than later. I am scared and anxious, but confident this is the best choice - for me.

After deciding to take this step in ensuring I have a future, I needed to figure out a way to talk about what was happening without making it a topic in every conversation I have with every friend I have. So to make it easier on me and them, I created this blog. Everyone who wants to know can know, and everyone who doesn't want to know, doesn't have to know how I say "bon voyage" to a very big piece of me.